My "Nightmare" Before Christmas

Ah, next week is Christmas already. So fast. I am a bit anxious as I have not finished what I needed to do yet. *almost panic mode*

What can I say about this holiday season? Christmas brings out the best in people. They are kinder, more patient, more generous, they smile more often. I hope this lasts the whole year through, though. Christmas also brings out the worst in people. Counterfeit money are being produced, and more robbers prowl the streets. I fell victim to two of them a few days ago. It was a scary experience, thank God they just wanted my bag and they didn't stab me. I lost my cellular phone, home keys and a couple of ID cards. Good thing my ID cards don't have my residential address. On top of my Christmas tasks, I also have to replace those ID cards. *sigh*

I was afraid I'll dream of the scary robbery scene when I go to sleep. At that time, I was reading the Twilight Saga. I don't know why, but I dreamed of Jacob (but I haven't seen New Moon yet!) instead. So weird! I guess the book had me distracted, I'm thankful for that. But there are times I stare off into space and the images come to my mind's eyes. I had to shake them off. I am sure I won't be going to that place alone anymore.

Anyway, since my cellular phone "died", but not of a natural death, my dear hubby bought me a new one. I am so glad! This is my very first official Christmas gift.

Planning on planning with your planner?

Planners are quite popular this month of the year because of the new year ahead.  There are some people like me who like the old fashioned way of encoding appointments, shopping lists, etc; but without the alarms, of course. Still, I like seeing them on paper, especially on a nice looking planner.

Vera is hosting her first giveaway of a Got Heart planner for those in the Philippines. Please visit her post to know more.

Note To Self

Since I have limited movements after my operation, I admit I have been lax in my beauty regimen. My skin has been experiencing dry spells lately, especially now that the cool weather is kicking in. I really need to do my favorite ritual as soon as the pain and discomfort are gone. Thanks to a reminder (also a blog contest) from YesNoMeh - a review blog by Josh, my high school classmate and his girlfriend Lizz.

What is my favorite beauty ritual then?

After taking a shower, I put slather on facial moisturizer, most preferably with SPF (I am so liking Olay Total Effects with a touch of foundation SPF 15 at the moment as it makes my face look smoother), if I am going out, and an ordinary moisturizer before bedtime. I plan to switch to a night cream when this moisturizer is all used up. I then apply lotion all over my body, I prefer ones with SPF or UV ray blocker. That's it! It's not much of a beauty ritual, I know, but it makes me feel more of a lady.

Of course I did not skip grooming altogether. I could cut the nails on my hand. It was hard for me to bend down and cut my toenails, so I had a foot spa with a pedicure last Saturday with my friend. It was nice, and since I was already there, I decided to add some color to my toenails, a light shade of purple. I am still deciding what to do with my long permed hair, so I put off cutting it for now. Grooming is quite necessary for a civilized and clean person. If one is unkempt and has long nails, he/she is more prone to attract germs and has the chance to ingest them or pass them on to his/her loved ones. I wouldn't want that to happen!

A Twisted Fairytale

This story was inspired by watching fairytales with my daughter.

Once upon a time, in a make believe kingdom where the sky was lavender dotted with baby pink balls of cloud, there lived a fair maiden named Cazzelle with skin as smooth as flower petals, whose hair was like silk and her eyes were like two shiny black diamonds. She had two stepsisters who were twins and twice as lovely as she was. But, she had no feelings of envy or jealousy for she believed that to each her own unique personalities and abilities that define. Briana was a good cook and loved to try new recipes that she always let Cazzelle have the first tastes. Brieta designs patterns for pot holders, coasters, scarves and Cazzelle was the one who would sit down for hours and knit them all.

The dove alighted on the fence for the 25th time. Cazzelle untied the green ribbon from its leg and took the letter from Prince Andrei, her quill pal. "...looking forward to seeing you in person, Cazzellina, my princess!", she read aloud, crossing and uncrossing her legs at the ankles while seated on her favorite green lounging chair by the bay window in her room. Weaving with words and pouring out her dreams in a letter was one thing, but actually talking to Andrei was another thing. Shrugging, she knew this day would have to come. It is in a person's nature to want to know everything, to unravel the mysteries that this world presents. She would have to do all the chores and knit all of Brieta's designs before he arrived in the afternoon. He said that he would be wearing a green cloak and would be atop his white horse with a red mane, so she would know it's him.

No dove this morning. There was no need, Cazzelle saw everything that transpired. The feelings that exchanged. She draped herself across her bed face down and allowed some tears to roll freely down her cheeks. Andrei loved adventures, he had written her detailed accounts of his experiences at sea and his island discoveries. He loved to tinker with small objects, he told her he changed the face of one of his pocket watches and made the numbers into pictures. She would have loved to see that! He seemed easily pleased and interested in her boring life and in her boring poems. What started their writing exchange was when she wrote a poem she was bursting to share with the world, to inspire anyone with it. So she tied it to a leg of one of her doves and had let it fly. She never knew it would reach one of the princes in their kingdom. There were many things she liked about Andrei, except for his preference for the physical appearance. He didn't look back at her when he decided to pursue Brieta.

When a sob escaped from her lips, millions of tiny, sparkling lights filled up her room. When all of it cleared away, Cazzelle was astonished to find a little old lady in a yellow hooded dress, sitting beside her on her bed. "Do I have a fairy godmother that I didn't know about?", she wondered aloud. "Apparently.", the lady answered, winking. "My name is Divonne, Cazzelle. Why are you crying?"
"Matters of the heart..."
"Oh, I cannot help you with that, then. Sorry."
"Can you at least bestow on me a slim figure, like my stepsisters?", she tried.Divonne shook her head. "I thought you needed something material, things for a ball, like Cinderella." Cazzelle was disappointed. "Oh." "You could try exercising.", Divonne suggested."Or letting Briana taste her own concoctions perhaps." "So, I won't have my prince then?" Cazzelle asked with a touch of sarcasm. Divonne put a finger under Cazzelle's chin and lifted her face a bit, "In time... I suppose. I am unsure of these things, Cazzelle. I just know that you deserve someone who will love you just as you are." Cazzelle sat up and nodded in agreement. "Thank you, Divonne." They hugged. "I hope you come here and visit me more often so I could get to know you. Not just when I am crying." They smiled at each other. Cazzelle knew that this was not the 'happily ever after' that her heart had desired, but she decided to choose to be happy, even without a prince. She would continue composing poems, something that she loved to do. Perhaps, another prince would receive her poem, one who was meant for her.

Realizations

Souvenir: gallstones

Gingerly, gingerly... That's what I've been telling myself these past few days. I still could not move like I normally do; when sitting up from bed, when getting on and off the car, when picking up something from the floor. Simple actions like those. Six days after my operation and the wound still hurts. I could see a hint of disappointment in my daughter's eyes when I tell her I couldn't carry her yet. I also couldn't eat as much as I like (which is good, I guess, because I am already horizontally challenged).

Anyway, I am just glad this is over. The possibility of another pain attack wouldn't haunt me now. This experience made me realize things in my life, again. There are also some things that I saw for the first time.

• God really is super good to me. He has blessed me greatly, and is now calling me to be a blessing to others.
• My hubby truly, madly, deeply loves me!
• My daughter could be obedient, caring and understanding sometimes, even if she's just 2 years old. She knows that I can't carry her yet, so she asks her daddy or the helper to carry her out of her playpen.
• There are some people I could count on.
• There are nice nurses and nice doctors, with "nice" professional fees.
• It was hard to stick a needle into my veins on the back of my hand for the IV, they said they couldn't find a "suitable" one for the big needle.
• Antiobiotic that's injected on the arm hurts sooooo much! Because I didn't have IV yet, the nurse injected it directly.
• Nurses don't really follow all of the doctor's orders. My surgeon told a nurse to give me a head shampoo so I could feel refreshed, but she did not. She even argued that the bedsheets have already been changed.
• Celine Dion's husband was her first and is her only love. I had lots of TV time at the hospital. Good thing they have cable. I even watched Twilight again, on Star Movies. Too bad they don't have free wireless Internet so I could tweet the happenings and my hubby wouldn't be too bored, ha ha!

The Inevitable

photo source

It was apparent that I really need to undergo the operation to remove my gall bladder. I went to consult with a surgery doctor who was referred to me by my friend. And nope, he doesn't hold office in the hospital where I don't want to get sick in. That's one thing, another thing I like about him is that he explains what's going on in my gall bladder, he even showed me pictures from his book. I can see that he aims to help people, especially those less fortunate financially, since he had no fixed consultation fee, the patient determines the amount. I also like the fact that he tells me upfront that he makes small incisions only, that there's no need for big ones, plus he will be getting an x-ray while operating so that he'll see if there are more stones in the ducts that should be removed. He didn't want the patients to endure more pain when the need to remove the stones in these ducts arises.

Still, I feel scared just by thinking about it. My schedule would be next week already! But if not now, when? I know I can't put it off any longer. The doctor said I cannot get pregnant unless I have it removed. When the pain attacks, the baby couldn't take pain killers. I guess it would be hard to have an operation with a big belly. Tomorrow, the doctor's secretary will call to confirm my schedule. The apple juice therapy didn't work on me, I promised I would have this operation...

Song Of Dreams

Here in my song

My dreams I realize

I know I will soar

High up to the skies

Places I'll go

My wings will take me there

Lovely scenes I'll see

I'll leave behind each care

Dreaming of a castle

Built on em'rald hills

There I am a princess

Don't need to pay the bills

I can be a fairy

With magic to spare

With a wave of my wand

Needs are met everywhere

In my song, anything I believe

Will take place

All the tears, from the hurts will be gone

From my face

And my heart, with each beat it skips to

The melody

In my song, I am whole, I am me

I am free

They're here!

My very own Ugg Boots! My early Christmas gift! Although, I don't know yet how to wear them in a tropical country like mine. But, it came just in time before the cool months of December and January kick in, so there'd be opportunities to don them, I hope. Click here if you want to win a pair yourselves. Thanks to Odette of little miss firefly for blogging about this, that's where I learned of this offer. I ordered the Classic Short, but I think they shipped the Classic Tall to me. Should I have it changed, I wonder?

A Call From God

More than a month had passed since the devastating typhoon Ondoy hit our country. Our capital was targeted and many people lost their homes and material possessions, what's worse was that there were lives lost, too. Massive relief efforts were made, especially by those fortunate to have their homes intact.

What struck down our homes,

When the strong winds blew,
Thick curtains of rain
Made pools of flood water,
Thick, soft carpets of mud;

Also struck a chord,
A call to realize:
God's longing for us,
To look upon heaven
As our permanent home,
Earthly things fade away.

We are very blessed,
In turn be a blessing
To those in dire need,
Thus serving the Lord,
This is our ministry.

Chowder you doing today?

I just realized, I love making chowder (although this was just my second time to make it). It's yummy and easy. I like thick and creamy soups like this. I just tweaked a few ingredients from Big Oven's Tilapia Corn Chowder recipe. I also added some cheese on top. If only I had no allergic reactions to shrimp or other seafood, I'd make Shrimp Chowder or Clam Chowder. I do not know why I was suddenly having super itchy lesions whenever I ingest shrimp and sometimes, I don't know what. They just appear all of a sudden. So, these days, Zyrtec is my very good friend. My guess is that my blood is already very polluted due to my fatty liver. Hmm... I wonder what other ingredients I could use for my next chowder?

To Love Again And Again

I believe that every woman was born with a mothering instinct, especially when her own child comes into the world.

Browsing through other mommies' blogs and photos with their kids, I can see that they are going to be great moms. Their instincts are working well for them, but mine aren't, recently. It's like I have lost my connection with my daughter, somehow. I would ask myself: am I doing things right? Am I spoiling her? Why is she not eating vegetables? I would feel like I'm flailing and failing whenever she throws tantrums. I never wanted to believe the myth of the Terrible Two. I always believe that Elle is better than that, that she is my good little girl. Sometimes, it is just so hard to control my temper and I wish I could hand in my resignation so I wouldn't get the chance to be too harsh on her. Am I a bad mommy for thinking that?

But, I just love listening to Elle's voice, calling me "mama" and laughing. I love looking at her face, seeing her smile and the twinkle in her eyes. I love how she reaches for my hands and grasping them for a dance or a short trip to her toys. I love how we play peek-a-boo, which always makes her grin or giggle. I love rediscovering the world around us with her and realizing how fast she is learning. I love how she is beginning to automatically connects the word "please" to her requests. With all these, I wonder why I wanted to hand in that letter in the first place. I have a special and wonderful child!

I guess it's just one of those days...

BTW, here's a post I just saw on Allie's blog, and I find her sentiments encouraging.

Why We Don't Need Flash Cards

Question: Elle, what's this? *shows flash card*

Answer: Mama!

*sighs*

I really need to lose weight!

If I Were Still A Baby...

...I'd write this for my mom. I would like to imagine my own daughter telling me these lines.

Mommy Parts

Your head swim with thoughts of me

Eyes see my beauty

Nose inhale my baby scent

Cuddling my head with your neck

And with your shoulder

When I'm sleepy or afraid

Your arms never tire of these:

Hugging, carrying

'Til your back tingles and aches

Whenever I get booboo's

Your lips kiss away

The pain, the tears your hands wipe

Your legs they run beside me

Across our home and

Throughout your life's journey

My Little Artist

Elle likes to write on paper, and everywhere else! See her other canvasses here.

Before, while we were using the brand Pampers for her diapers, I joined their Hearts Club wherein I send in the code from the package to a particular number so I could collect points. I had already accumulated PhP200 worth of GC from the Toy Kingdom toy store and recently, I redeemed them and used it together with cash and bought Elle this paint set. She liked it and asks me to take it out from the box almost everyday. I hope this helps her bring out her artistic side and discourage her from writing on the walls.

At first, I didn't know what she wanted. She kept saying "colo loo", then I realized she was saying "color blue". I asked her what color blue thing it is that she wanted. Elle then dragged the paint set box out from her toy basket and showed it to me. I didn't know why she called painting "color blue"... Anyway, I just hope she becomes more creative than me.

Mommy Is A Child

Beauty and the Beast

Tale as old as time
True as it can be
Barely even friends
Than somebody bends
Unexpectedly

Just a little change
Small, to say the least
Both a little scared
Neither one prepared
Beauty and the Beast

Ever just the same
Ever a surprise
Ever as before
Ever just as sure
As the sun will arise

Tale as old as time
Tune as old as song
Bittersweet and strange
Finding you can change
Learning you were wrong

Certain as the sun
Rising in the east
Tale as old as time
Song as old as rhyme
Beauty and the beast 

I have always loved fairy tales! I love reading them from books and watching them on TV. I love how the heroines end up with the cute guys who absolutely adore them. I love how the characters could sing a song of just about anything. I love how the animals could talk and make the characters' lives more colorful. I love the happily ever afters.
There was a time I thought that I have outgrown these fairy tales. When I went to college, when I fell in love, when I started working, when I got married, I didn't really get the chance to rediscover my love of fairy tales, of children's stories, of reading, of singing the beloved songs.
Until now. One of the things I love about being a mommy is that I could watch kiddie shows and fairy movies and cartoons, and get away with it. My hubby gets bored with those kind of shows and he smirks when I sing along to some of the songs. With the help of Disney channel and the Internet, we were able to get hold of animated fairy tale movies that we let our daughter watch. Like me, she loves them too. She even finds Cinderella funny!
The most recent one that we watched was Beauty and the Beast. It still brought tears to my eyes. And I still love the songs! I think it's still my favorite Disney animated movie of all.   

How To Enjoy Your Afternoon Snack...

...while watching your favorite channel!

I don't want to get sick..., there!

When I was in college, I had a design class which touched upon the subject of hospital design.

The trend in hospital design at present is its similarity with hotel design. The comfort of the clients and their accessibility is at the top of the mind. The aim is to improve the relationship between doctors and patients. Those that are in need of medical attention need not be intimidated by the hospital's environment. Designers and hospital personnel now believe that the overall design and feel of the hospital contribute to the patients' health improvement. Gone are the harsh daylight fluorescent lamps in the lobby, which are replaced by warm light. Texture and color are being introduced in the areas. Mood lighting is being used in the private rooms and some hospitals have a birthing room for those who want to be with their family as they give birth to the latest addition.

My classmates presented arguments on this. As hospitals are now claiming to be people-friendly, won't patients be encouraged to stay there as long as they want? Would they have the desire to get well? I wonder, can a person be admitted even if they don't have any ailment? If yes, a hospital can very well be a hotel, too!

I know of one hospital that doesn't want its patients to stay, though. I don't mean to be admitted there or be rushed to its ER so often, but aside from its old-fashioned interiors, the health care service they provide are going from bad to worse, in hubby's and my opinions.

• Most of the doctors there are competitive, but some doctors and nurses don't seem to care for what the patients or their guardians say or feel.
• They just relay to us what they have been told and when asked questions, they couldn't seem to give a satisfying answer.
• There is a significant increase in the number of students who are interning at the hospital. When they come to check the blood pressure, the temperature or when they accompany a doctor, they don't even introduce themselves as interns or the doctors don't even tell us that with them are students who are there to observe.
• The last time my daughter was admitted, we were charged for some stuff that we didn't even get to use.
• The radiology and some department personnel seems to be loaded with problems, the people behind the desks are always scowling and unfriendly.

If it weren't for the doctors and its budget-friendly prices, I wouldn't be doing business with them. If I were to undergo my gall bladder removal operation, it looks like I will be having it there. I will try to ask the doctor if I could have it elsewhere. Is that even possible?

A Little Makeover

As you may have noticed, my blog now sports a new look. I chose the background because it has stars, and it gives a vibe of treasured memories. The header might be a little too big, don't you think? I was looking around for a simple but cute header, unfortunately I found none.

Anyway, the source of these designs was blogged about by Odette of little miss firefly and I decided to try it out for myself. You might want to check them out too, at Shabby Blogs.

Hidden In Plain Sight? (Food Experiment #7)

I don't know how it happened. The next thing I knew, she was spitting them out. She would refuse the spoon whenever she sees something green (leafy veggies) or something orange (carrots) sitting on it. I fed her anything when she was almost a year old. She even liked cucumber and tomato. I was taken aback by her present aversion to veggies.

Aside from potty training, I am now learning the Art of Vegetable Concealment, one of the many skills of a mommy (especially to a choosy eater). I would cut up the vegetable or shred the leaves into very small pieces and bits, mix it with rice (most preferably underneath), then top it with food that she likes. But sometimes, her tongue has an extraordinary detection capability that all I could do was raise my brows.

So, I am up for experimenting with recipes, again.

I tried a recipe I got from Del Monte Kitchenomics Club Kitchen Companion Newsletter called Saucy Chicken Nuggets for dinner. But first, during lunchtime, I made a soup which I thought of myself. I had the courage to try my own ideas when hubby isn't around. I just cooked cream of mushroom soup according to package instructions. I put in diced potatoes, and when they were very soft, I added a half can of sliced mushrooms until the soup boiled. I added bits of broccoli last. Elle likes mushrooms, so without her knowledge, she was also ingesting the broccoli.

Glad she didn't notice the broccoli bits, ha ha!

Now, the recipe of the chicken nuggets includes ground chicken meat mixed with mashed tokwa (like tofu), grated carrot, chopped onion, a beaten egg, and all-purpose flour. I grabbed this chance to sneak in some super cut up spinach leaves into the nuggets. The mixture was then chilled for 10 minutes before being cut into squares, dipped in beaten egg, coated with bread crumbs then deep fried until golden brown. For the sauce, saute crushed garlic, chopped onion, pork bouillon cube and mushrooms for 2 minutes. Add cubed red bell pepper, tomato sauce, a cup of water and salt to taste. I don't know why a medium potato, cut into wide strips and deep-fried was thrown in the recipe, maybe as an added source of nutrients.

They don't look like nuggets, do they?

Thank God she ate them, though she couldn't finish a whole nugget. It's bigger than it looked. And the sauce made them yummier. Too bad she didn't want any of the potatoes. But she likes fries from fast food chains. Darn!

Discovering Private Iris

Wow! It's September already! Soon, Christmas holidays will be here and then there's the list we have to make.

But, before I start with that and begin imagining what to buy for who, I consulted with our financial planner friend on some money matters and he introduced me to Private Iris. She's a character from a comic book for kids with the same title, written by Jamie Bautista with art by Arnold Arre. He gave me the first issue as a starter and I found it interesting. I will be sure to keep it and let my daughter read it when she's older. It's a special kind of comic book as there's a card number and PIN inside which when encoded in its site, sort of opens an account for the child with a balance of PhP100. And it really earns an interest! It was made to teach children how to save their money. Plus, they also get to be insured under Pioneer Insurance until they turn 14 years old. I really look forward to reading the 2nd issue. And, adding another PhP100 to my daughter's savings.