The Inevitable

photo source

It was apparent that I really need to undergo the operation to remove my gall bladder. I went to consult with a surgery doctor who was referred to me by my friend. And nope, he doesn't hold office in the hospital where I don't want to get sick in. That's one thing, another thing I like about him is that he explains what's going on in my gall bladder, he even showed me pictures from his book. I can see that he aims to help people, especially those less fortunate financially, since he had no fixed consultation fee, the patient determines the amount. I also like the fact that he tells me upfront that he makes small incisions only, that there's no need for big ones, plus he will be getting an x-ray while operating so that he'll see if there are more stones in the ducts that should be removed. He didn't want the patients to endure more pain when the need to remove the stones in these ducts arises.

Still, I feel scared just by thinking about it. My schedule would be next week already! But if not now, when? I know I can't put it off any longer. The doctor said I cannot get pregnant unless I have it removed. When the pain attacks, the baby couldn't take pain killers. I guess it would be hard to have an operation with a big belly. Tomorrow, the doctor's secretary will call to confirm my schedule. The apple juice therapy didn't work on me, I promised I would have this operation...

Song Of Dreams

Here in my song

My dreams I realize

I know I will soar

High up to the skies

Places I'll go

My wings will take me there

Lovely scenes I'll see

I'll leave behind each care

Dreaming of a castle

Built on em'rald hills

There I am a princess

Don't need to pay the bills

I can be a fairy

With magic to spare

With a wave of my wand

Needs are met everywhere

In my song, anything I believe

Will take place

All the tears, from the hurts will be gone

From my face

And my heart, with each beat it skips to

The melody

In my song, I am whole, I am me

I am free

They're here!

My very own Ugg Boots! My early Christmas gift! Although, I don't know yet how to wear them in a tropical country like mine. But, it came just in time before the cool months of December and January kick in, so there'd be opportunities to don them, I hope. Click here if you want to win a pair yourselves. Thanks to Odette of little miss firefly for blogging about this, that's where I learned of this offer. I ordered the Classic Short, but I think they shipped the Classic Tall to me. Should I have it changed, I wonder?

A Call From God

More than a month had passed since the devastating typhoon Ondoy hit our country. Our capital was targeted and many people lost their homes and material possessions, what's worse was that there were lives lost, too. Massive relief efforts were made, especially by those fortunate to have their homes intact.

What struck down our homes,

When the strong winds blew,
Thick curtains of rain
Made pools of flood water,
Thick, soft carpets of mud;

Also struck a chord,
A call to realize:
God's longing for us,
To look upon heaven
As our permanent home,
Earthly things fade away.

We are very blessed,
In turn be a blessing
To those in dire need,
Thus serving the Lord,
This is our ministry.

Chowder you doing today?

I just realized, I love making chowder (although this was just my second time to make it). It's yummy and easy. I like thick and creamy soups like this. I just tweaked a few ingredients from Big Oven's Tilapia Corn Chowder recipe. I also added some cheese on top. If only I had no allergic reactions to shrimp or other seafood, I'd make Shrimp Chowder or Clam Chowder. I do not know why I was suddenly having super itchy lesions whenever I ingest shrimp and sometimes, I don't know what. They just appear all of a sudden. So, these days, Zyrtec is my very good friend. My guess is that my blood is already very polluted due to my fatty liver. Hmm... I wonder what other ingredients I could use for my next chowder?

To Love Again And Again

I believe that every woman was born with a mothering instinct, especially when her own child comes into the world.

Browsing through other mommies' blogs and photos with their kids, I can see that they are going to be great moms. Their instincts are working well for them, but mine aren't, recently. It's like I have lost my connection with my daughter, somehow. I would ask myself: am I doing things right? Am I spoiling her? Why is she not eating vegetables? I would feel like I'm flailing and failing whenever she throws tantrums. I never wanted to believe the myth of the Terrible Two. I always believe that Elle is better than that, that she is my good little girl. Sometimes, it is just so hard to control my temper and I wish I could hand in my resignation so I wouldn't get the chance to be too harsh on her. Am I a bad mommy for thinking that?

But, I just love listening to Elle's voice, calling me "mama" and laughing. I love looking at her face, seeing her smile and the twinkle in her eyes. I love how she reaches for my hands and grasping them for a dance or a short trip to her toys. I love how we play peek-a-boo, which always makes her grin or giggle. I love rediscovering the world around us with her and realizing how fast she is learning. I love how she is beginning to automatically connects the word "please" to her requests. With all these, I wonder why I wanted to hand in that letter in the first place. I have a special and wonderful child!

I guess it's just one of those days...

BTW, here's a post I just saw on Allie's blog, and I find her sentiments encouraging.

Why We Don't Need Flash Cards

Question: Elle, what's this? *shows flash card*

Answer: Mama!

*sighs*

I really need to lose weight!

If I Were Still A Baby...

...I'd write this for my mom. I would like to imagine my own daughter telling me these lines.

Mommy Parts

Your head swim with thoughts of me

Eyes see my beauty

Nose inhale my baby scent

Cuddling my head with your neck

And with your shoulder

When I'm sleepy or afraid

Your arms never tire of these:

Hugging, carrying

'Til your back tingles and aches

Whenever I get booboo's

Your lips kiss away

The pain, the tears your hands wipe

Your legs they run beside me

Across our home and

Throughout your life's journey

My Little Artist

Elle likes to write on paper, and everywhere else! See her other canvasses here.

Before, while we were using the brand Pampers for her diapers, I joined their Hearts Club wherein I send in the code from the package to a particular number so I could collect points. I had already accumulated PhP200 worth of GC from the Toy Kingdom toy store and recently, I redeemed them and used it together with cash and bought Elle this paint set. She liked it and asks me to take it out from the box almost everyday. I hope this helps her bring out her artistic side and discourage her from writing on the walls.

At first, I didn't know what she wanted. She kept saying "colo loo", then I realized she was saying "color blue". I asked her what color blue thing it is that she wanted. Elle then dragged the paint set box out from her toy basket and showed it to me. I didn't know why she called painting "color blue"... Anyway, I just hope she becomes more creative than me.

Mommy Is A Child

Beauty and the Beast

Tale as old as time
True as it can be
Barely even friends
Than somebody bends
Unexpectedly

Just a little change
Small, to say the least
Both a little scared
Neither one prepared
Beauty and the Beast

Ever just the same
Ever a surprise
Ever as before
Ever just as sure
As the sun will arise

Tale as old as time
Tune as old as song
Bittersweet and strange
Finding you can change
Learning you were wrong

Certain as the sun
Rising in the east
Tale as old as time
Song as old as rhyme
Beauty and the beast 

I have always loved fairy tales! I love reading them from books and watching them on TV. I love how the heroines end up with the cute guys who absolutely adore them. I love how the characters could sing a song of just about anything. I love how the animals could talk and make the characters' lives more colorful. I love the happily ever afters.
There was a time I thought that I have outgrown these fairy tales. When I went to college, when I fell in love, when I started working, when I got married, I didn't really get the chance to rediscover my love of fairy tales, of children's stories, of reading, of singing the beloved songs.
Until now. One of the things I love about being a mommy is that I could watch kiddie shows and fairy movies and cartoons, and get away with it. My hubby gets bored with those kind of shows and he smirks when I sing along to some of the songs. With the help of Disney channel and the Internet, we were able to get hold of animated fairy tale movies that we let our daughter watch. Like me, she loves them too. She even finds Cinderella funny!
The most recent one that we watched was Beauty and the Beast. It still brought tears to my eyes. And I still love the songs! I think it's still my favorite Disney animated movie of all.   

How To Enjoy Your Afternoon Snack...

...while watching your favorite channel!

I don't want to get sick..., there!

When I was in college, I had a design class which touched upon the subject of hospital design.

The trend in hospital design at present is its similarity with hotel design. The comfort of the clients and their accessibility is at the top of the mind. The aim is to improve the relationship between doctors and patients. Those that are in need of medical attention need not be intimidated by the hospital's environment. Designers and hospital personnel now believe that the overall design and feel of the hospital contribute to the patients' health improvement. Gone are the harsh daylight fluorescent lamps in the lobby, which are replaced by warm light. Texture and color are being introduced in the areas. Mood lighting is being used in the private rooms and some hospitals have a birthing room for those who want to be with their family as they give birth to the latest addition.

My classmates presented arguments on this. As hospitals are now claiming to be people-friendly, won't patients be encouraged to stay there as long as they want? Would they have the desire to get well? I wonder, can a person be admitted even if they don't have any ailment? If yes, a hospital can very well be a hotel, too!

I know of one hospital that doesn't want its patients to stay, though. I don't mean to be admitted there or be rushed to its ER so often, but aside from its old-fashioned interiors, the health care service they provide are going from bad to worse, in hubby's and my opinions.

• Most of the doctors there are competitive, but some doctors and nurses don't seem to care for what the patients or their guardians say or feel.
• They just relay to us what they have been told and when asked questions, they couldn't seem to give a satisfying answer.
• There is a significant increase in the number of students who are interning at the hospital. When they come to check the blood pressure, the temperature or when they accompany a doctor, they don't even introduce themselves as interns or the doctors don't even tell us that with them are students who are there to observe.
• The last time my daughter was admitted, we were charged for some stuff that we didn't even get to use.
• The radiology and some department personnel seems to be loaded with problems, the people behind the desks are always scowling and unfriendly.

If it weren't for the doctors and its budget-friendly prices, I wouldn't be doing business with them. If I were to undergo my gall bladder removal operation, it looks like I will be having it there. I will try to ask the doctor if I could have it elsewhere. Is that even possible?

A Little Makeover

As you may have noticed, my blog now sports a new look. I chose the background because it has stars, and it gives a vibe of treasured memories. The header might be a little too big, don't you think? I was looking around for a simple but cute header, unfortunately I found none.

Anyway, the source of these designs was blogged about by Odette of little miss firefly and I decided to try it out for myself. You might want to check them out too, at Shabby Blogs.

Hidden In Plain Sight? (Food Experiment #7)

I don't know how it happened. The next thing I knew, she was spitting them out. She would refuse the spoon whenever she sees something green (leafy veggies) or something orange (carrots) sitting on it. I fed her anything when she was almost a year old. She even liked cucumber and tomato. I was taken aback by her present aversion to veggies.

Aside from potty training, I am now learning the Art of Vegetable Concealment, one of the many skills of a mommy (especially to a choosy eater). I would cut up the vegetable or shred the leaves into very small pieces and bits, mix it with rice (most preferably underneath), then top it with food that she likes. But sometimes, her tongue has an extraordinary detection capability that all I could do was raise my brows.

So, I am up for experimenting with recipes, again.

I tried a recipe I got from Del Monte Kitchenomics Club Kitchen Companion Newsletter called Saucy Chicken Nuggets for dinner. But first, during lunchtime, I made a soup which I thought of myself. I had the courage to try my own ideas when hubby isn't around. I just cooked cream of mushroom soup according to package instructions. I put in diced potatoes, and when they were very soft, I added a half can of sliced mushrooms until the soup boiled. I added bits of broccoli last. Elle likes mushrooms, so without her knowledge, she was also ingesting the broccoli.

Glad she didn't notice the broccoli bits, ha ha!

Now, the recipe of the chicken nuggets includes ground chicken meat mixed with mashed tokwa (like tofu), grated carrot, chopped onion, a beaten egg, and all-purpose flour. I grabbed this chance to sneak in some super cut up spinach leaves into the nuggets. The mixture was then chilled for 10 minutes before being cut into squares, dipped in beaten egg, coated with bread crumbs then deep fried until golden brown. For the sauce, saute crushed garlic, chopped onion, pork bouillon cube and mushrooms for 2 minutes. Add cubed red bell pepper, tomato sauce, a cup of water and salt to taste. I don't know why a medium potato, cut into wide strips and deep-fried was thrown in the recipe, maybe as an added source of nutrients.

They don't look like nuggets, do they?

Thank God she ate them, though she couldn't finish a whole nugget. It's bigger than it looked. And the sauce made them yummier. Too bad she didn't want any of the potatoes. But she likes fries from fast food chains. Darn!

Discovering Private Iris

Wow! It's September already! Soon, Christmas holidays will be here and then there's the list we have to make.

But, before I start with that and begin imagining what to buy for who, I consulted with our financial planner friend on some money matters and he introduced me to Private Iris. She's a character from a comic book for kids with the same title, written by Jamie Bautista with art by Arnold Arre. He gave me the first issue as a starter and I found it interesting. I will be sure to keep it and let my daughter read it when she's older. It's a special kind of comic book as there's a card number and PIN inside which when encoded in its site, sort of opens an account for the child with a balance of PhP100. And it really earns an interest! It was made to teach children how to save their money. Plus, they also get to be insured under Pioneer Insurance until they turn 14 years old. I really look forward to reading the 2nd issue. And, adding another PhP100 to my daughter's savings.

Our 3D Glasses

My hubby Rix downloaded a 3D animation Barbie fairy tale movie for my daughter Elle. It turned out, we needed 3D glasses to appreciate it, I think. I googled how to make one and followed the instructions from this site. These are the results. I even cut my finger with the cutter blade. Stupid me!

It was not kept on throughout the movie, though. And my daughter was not able to really use it because it kept falling off her small face. Oh, well!

Binoculars

Again inspired by Allie of No Time For Flash Cards, I made this pair of binoculars for my little girl. I used two bathroom tissue roll cores then glued and stapled them together. I had Elle decorate it with an assortment of stickers, instead of the different types of shapes that Allie did, because I'm lazy like that. :-) Good thing I had a leftover pink ribbon from one of the gifts that Elle received when she was just a baby. So I used this as the binoculars' lanyard. I punctured holes on either side of the cores, inserted the ends of the ribbons and knotted them up. Voila! Elle is ready to go on a safari.

Food Experiment #6

Tilapia Corn Chowder

We had tilapia, so instead of the usual steaming or frying, I decided to try something else. I googled recipes of tilapia soup and this looked the easiest. But instead of bacon, I used leftover SPAM from our breakfast. Since we do not have an oven, I just fried the SPAM then set it aside. While I was sauteing the onions, red & green bell peppers and celery in oil (which I used for the SPAM) and butter, my hubby Rix said that it smelled good. That's a good sign! When the veggies started to soften, I added in 4 cups of water with chicken bouillons and potatoes. Then when the potatoes began to soften, I poured in my canned corn, along with the water to add more corn flavor. Plus, i stirred in the tilapia fillets. I turned off the fire and removed the casserole from the heat when the fish was cooked. I didn't have heavy cream, so I used all-purpose cream instead. I poured this in along with a tablespoon of lemon and the SPAM I cooked earlier.

"Not bad", was Rix said, and I also liked it. I don't really like celery, but I got to eat them in this recipe. Its softness was just right, and the taste was concealed by the corn, and I like corn. I would definitely make this again, I'll try it with bacon next time.

On the menu: Shapes Pizza

Inspired by Allie of No time for flash cards, I decided to make this to teach my Elle some basic shapes.

Our personal pan pizza!

She doesn't like to color the shapes, I ended up doing that. She just pointed where on the "crust" I should glue the shapes.

Holding up the pizza for me

Some of them need help

Rubber "duckies" in the tubby