27 May 2006

ranting


When do friends stop being friends? When connections are lost? There will always be ways to connect, one way or another. In this day and time, there are so many enhancements that were made upon communication. It is dependent on a person's willingness. Were they willing? I guess not. I have tried to reach out to each of them, opening up topics which apparently do not interest them in any way so they shut me out. I really hate it when I get ignored. It's like they're denying your presence, your existence. It's the greatest insult anyone could receive. Imagine that. And they were friends? Hard to believe... (bitter smile)
Flashback to that fateful day...
Confrontations were really awkward. It's like opening your heart and letting others see your secrets, your insecurities. I shuddered at the thought. But maybe it was inevitable because of the strain the friendship was taking. Openness was important back then. It supposedly strengthened our friendship. For years, all was well and we would really take the time to meet over coffee, over an exchange of gifts. Listening and reacting, offering advices and help. But time came when leaving was part of life. Not being physically present but reachable via Internet was good. Was change good? I must still be living in the high school days when I still believed in friendship. Get real.
Sometimes I wonder if anything was wrong with me. If it was my fault that we were all drifting apart away from each other, or is it just they were drifting apart from me? It's hard to tell. And I wanted to share something with them... to have a "girl talk" about it. Oh, well. I guess that's not going to happen. How could I give a little of me when they do not want it at all? *sigh*
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