Sometimes, when my daughter is throwing tantrums or when my son keeps on bawling, I would wonder if being a mother truly is what God has called me to be. After I gave birth to my first child and after my maternity leave, I have returned to my work at the bank. But, after almost two years of hiring different nannies and training them in caring for my daughter again and again, I decided to quit my 8-5 work and be a SAHM. But, I really wanted to be a WAHM. It's just that I don't have work I could do at home, yet.
Now, I wonder if being a SAHM was a bad idea. Not because I regret taking care of my kids personally (I think this is a better option than entrusting them fully to a caretaker), but because financially, we really need additional income. Of course I want to spend as much time as possible with my two (soon to be three) children, especially during their formative years, but I also want to be doing something I like and earning from it, too. Is it wrong to want everything?
My friend suggested I go back to work after I give birth to my third. I am also contemplating on this. But what job is good for me? Should I go back to working at a bank? I read somewhere that it is one of the ideal jobs for a mother. I just wonder if my knowledge before would still be applicable now. I might need to undergo training again to be informed about a brokerage account or knowing about picking good mutual funds. And if I will be going into another path of career, won't I be too old to be applying at 30 years old?
I believe something will come up, by God's grace. For now, I am trying to be the best mommy for my two little angels.